Folks, when you think of idiots, who do you think of?
Sarah Palin.
Okay....you're getting there. Now, here's my real question! Who is the dumbest person you know?
"ArthurEngine!"
Ha, ha, ha. Very funny.
Now, if there's anyone stupid I think of, who do I think of? The Soccermums! These hypocritical people will do anything to make our favourite things suffer! Whether it be TV shows, video games, snacks, music, you name it! Which is why I'm counting down the top 11 moments where soccermums were at their stupidest! Why Top 11? Because I am a rip off of the Nostalgia Critic! No. There are more than 10 moments I can think of, so this is a Top 11 list!
So, get ready to feel like you're Christopher Langan by comparison! Here are my Top 11 most moronic Soccermum moments!
11. The Silent Night Deadly Night controversy.
The reason this one is so low on the list is because it doesn't apply to me. Why? Because I'm not a fan of horror movies. But that doesn't mean it doesn't piss me off!
For those of you unaware of this controversy, in 1984, the slasher movie genre was at the height of its popularity, and a new one called Silent Night Deadly Night was about to get released. It's about a man who murders people while dressed up as Santa Claus. Here's where the Soccermums kick in! They boycotted every cinema that was showing this movie and tried to get it banned because they feared it was ruining Santa Claus for everyone and they feared that kids would run to them crying that they're scared of Santa Claus.
Wow, just shows that even stuff for adults aren't safe from these nutcases!
Alright, soccermums of the mid 1980s!
1. It's a horror movie! IT'S SUPPOSED TO BE FRIGHTENING! It's just the shots that are scaring your kids!
2. Just because you don't like the movie doesn't mean no one else likes it! Think about other people's needs besides your own!
3. It's a movie for adults. IT'S NO WAY INTENDED FOR KIDS! Do you want your kids to see this movie? No? Then don't let them see it! It's easier than 1-2-7!
4. Get it through your thick skulls! It's not Santa Claus who kills people! It's a guy DRESSED UP as Santa Claus! All you need to do is tell your kids that Santa Claus doesn't kill people!
But I'll let this one slide because this movie gained a cult following due to all the complaints it got.
10. Reactions to The Princess and the Frog.
Yet again, another one that doesn't apply to me because I haven't watched this movie, yet it still pisses me off!
In 2009, The Princess and the Frog was released into cinemas, and according to reviews on this film, one person wanted to give this movie an R-rating! Why? Because of the use of voodoo!
Ugh! Okay, the way I heard it, the villain of this movie uses voodoo! Why? Because he's a witchdoctor!
Now, just because it uses voodoo doesn't mean it needs an R-rating! I mean, there weren't any people who complained about the scary scenes in Pinocchio, Dumbo, Beauty and the Beast, Aladdin, The Lion King or The Hunchback of Notre Dame, but they choose to hark on this film!
This moment can slide too because when this movie was released to DVD, it got a G-rating.
9. Joe Camel getting banned.
Once again, another one that doesn't apply to me because I don't smoke.
Let's get onto this. In the 1980s, Camel Cigarettes decided to make their own mascot known as Joe Camel to help promote their cigarettes for those who like to smoke.
However, soccermums complained to Camel and ordered them to ban this mascot! Why? Because he was, quote unquote, encouraging kids to smoke cigarettes!
Oh, so what they're trying to tell us is, just because he's a mascot means he caters to kids!
1. Just because Joe Camel is a mascot doesn't mean he caters to kids!
2. Joe Camel or no Joe Camel, some kids are smoking cigarettes anyway!
Gee! I just don't understand people!
But like I said, I don't smoke, but if I did, I'd have broken every single box of Camel Cigarettes I found.
8. Michaelangelo getting his nunchucks taken away in the 1987-1996 Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles cartoon.
For those of you who don't know, Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles is a franchise focused on 4 oversized turtles who fight bad guys using ninja weapons.
With how popular this show became, it eventually became a target for soccermums. They complained that Michaelangelo's nunchucks were too violent for a kids' show, so they were removed, getting replaced with a useless grappling hook.
Hold on! Let's look at the weapons these reptiles use!
Leonardo - 2 swords.
Donatello - Staff.
Raphael - 2 sais.
Michelangelo - 2 nunchucks.
So what they're trying to tell us is that
Swords - Safe.
Staffs - Safe.
Sais - Safe.
Nunchucks - Violent.
THIS IS FREAKING MORONIC!!!! I don't see the reason they had to complain! 90s soccermums, all you needed to do was tell your kids not to copy what they see!!!
But I'll let this one slide because in later adaptations of Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles, Michelangelo got his nunchucks back! Ha!
7. Lord Zedd getting toned down on Power Rangers.
For those of you unaware, Power Rangers is a series of live action shows that use footage from Super Sentai, a Japanese sentai show. With how popular this show came, Saban decided to make up their own villain for the show, and Lord Zedd was born!
Eventually, soccermums complained that Lord Zedd was too evil for a kids' show, so Saban toned him down, eventually getting to the point of marrying Rita Repulsa.
Ugh! Soccermums of the 1990s, I'm not sure if you even realise, but LORD ZEDD IS A VILLAIN!!!! HE'S SUPPOSED TO BE EVIL, YOU DOOFUSES!!! I've never known him to kill anyone! What did you expect him to do? Bake a cake for the Rangers?
Also, I don't understand why they thought he was too evil! The worst he did was yell at his troops! What do you lunatics have against shows that teach kids that evil is bad? Huh? Huh?
6. Parents trying to get Cap'n Crunch banned.
About a decade ago, parents complained to Quaker Oats about Cap'n Crunch and they tried to get it banned. Why? Because it's the unhealthiest cereal on the market! How is it the unhealthiest? Because it lacks nutrition.
Alright, parents! 3 things!
1. It's Quaker Oats' job to make kids want that cereal! Think about it!
2. Just because you don't like the cereal doesn't mean no one else likes it! The Earth revolves around the sun, NOT YOU AND YOUR FAMILY!! Sure, it's the unhealthiest cereal, but it's still a better breakfast for your kids than Cheetos!!!!
3. You're not supposed to try to ban what you don't want your kids to eat! You're supposed to be the parent and give your kids the big fat NO!
This one can slide because Quaker Oats didn't listen to these nutcases and came up with more brands for the cereal.
5. Trying to get Ronald McDonald banned.
A few years ago, parents complained to McDonald's and tried to get Ronald McDonald banned because they were worried that he may want to make their kids eat at McDonald's.
Ugh! Now we're getting to the really stupid stuff!
1. When I was a kid, I wouldn't go to McDonald's because of Ronald! I went to collect the toys they put in their Happy Meals! If Ronald was a toy in the Happy Meal, I would understand.
2. Why do you want to ban Ronald McDonald? He's a go-lucky clown who wants to spread smiles to every kid he meets!
3. If Ronald does make your kids want to eat at McDonald, big deal! That doesn't mean you have to take them there and get them food!!!! Duh! All you have to do is tell them the big fat NO!
Luckily, McDonald's didn't listen to these nutcases and Ronald is still spreading smiles wherever he goes.
4. The Game Corner getting removed from the Pokémon games.
There is a reason parents banned the Game Corner games from the Pokémon games. Because they were worried that it may encourage their kids to gamble.
Ugh! You moronic people! If these games supposedly make your kids want to gamble, big deal! That doesn't mean you have to take them to a casino or some other gambling place!
I just don't understand people!
3. Parents complaining about a gay couple in The Loud House.
For those of you who don't know what The Loud House is, The Loud House is Nickelodeon's newest cartoon about a boy named Lincoln who lives in a house with his many sisters. Funny thing is, all their names start with L and their surname is Loud.
Due to how popular this show got since its premiere a few months ago, it just became a target for soccermums. They're complaining about a gay couple.
*facepalm* You people!
Oh, so they're complaining about this show having a gay couple, yet they never complain about Jeff from Clarence having 2 mums?! Not like I want them to complain, but I'm calling out their hypocrisy! Just because it's a gay couple doesn't mean you have to get Nick to cancel this show! I just don't understand you people!
2. P.T. Boomer getting cut from Thomas and the Magic Railroad.
No! I'll never get over this! For those of you who don't know, Thomas and the Magic Railroad is a movie that crosses Thomas the Tank Engine with Shining Time Station. During the test screenings of this movie's original cut, parents and kids reacted to P.T. Boomer being to scary for kids. so Britt cut him out of the film in the final cut.
Parents, I'm not sure if any of you realise, but P.T. BOOMER IS A FREAKING VILLAIN!!!! HE'S SUPPOSED TO BE SCARY, YOU NO-BRAINS!!!!! Gee! I've never heard about him to be a murderer! The worst he planned to do was destroy Lady, not kill any people in general! Thanks to you, this movie failed in the box office!
Rest in Peace Doug Lennox, the one who played P.T.
1. The Derpy Hooves Controversy.
I'm not a brony, but when these nutcases attack a cartoon whether I like it or not, I see it as an act of war! For those of you who don't know, Derpy is a character from My Little Pony Friendship is Magic who was placed as a Where's Wally?-like cameo for fans. She's cross-eyed and crazy. However, she soon became a target for soccermums. They complained that her crossed eyes were offending mentally challenged people, so they ordered the animators to change her voice, change her name to "Ditzy" and to straighten her eyes.
*facepalm* AH! Nosebleed!
Why do you choose to hark on certain harmless cartoons? DERPY IS NOT OFFENSIVE!!!
They even complained that she contradicted friendship. How?!?
Alright, this is the one thing that REALLY pisses me off about this! Of all the things you soccermums choose to complain about, THIS is the harmless show you choose to hark on?!? GIVE ME A BREAK!!!
You couldn't complain about Patrick Star? I think Patrick is more offensive to mentally challenged people than Derpy! You couldn't complain about The Problem Solverz causing seizures? You couldn't complain about Fred 3 teaching kids it's OK to blow up other people's properties with a bunch of fireworks AND GET OFF SCOT-FREE?!?!? I.......don't.....understand.....how.....you....people....THINK!!!!!!
Well there you have it. The moments where I felt that Soccermums were at their worst. Feel free to tell me your thoughts on my choices.
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